Trrrrble

Wow. Tonight was awful. I had the WORST babysitting job EVER. And for kids I normally really like! It wouldn't have been half as bad if it weren't for their god awful terrible stupid stinking mutt of a dog who would not leave me alone and would not stop biting me. He ripped my pants twice! I'm so upset and angry and just in an all around bad mood and it's a terrible feeling for it being the first week of classes. Now I'm already at the point where I'm dreading school tomorrow but the reason is only because of my bad mood right now. How to cure this? Right now I'm listening to some pretty powerful ballads. How do I get you alone? HOW DO I GET YOU ALONE? I find it healthier than what I would normally play, which would be really angry loud hardcore screaming stuff. But I'll probably put that on now that Alone has ended.

As of right now I do not want to go back and babysit for them. Why is it always fine until its bedtime (except for the dog, who was NOT fine the entire time). Once bedtime comes around SHIT HITS THE FAN. Nearly literally, cuz stuff is flying and people are screaming and hurting each other. Little boy took it upon himself to somehow get to the kitchen without me knowing and grab a butter knife to attempt to hurt his sister. Seriously?? I am not cut out for bedtime. Can it be the future yet where you bed is like this sealed Egyptian stand up coffin looking thing and you get sealed up in there and this computer makes you sleepy and gives you pleasant dreams? Can someone invent that to make my life easier?

The worst thing to think of is that I am babysitting again on Saturday, but for different people. I pray that it will be fine. Unfortunately, one of their dogs once bit my sister. PEOPLE train your dogs!

Arghhhhhh my first post in a long time is one of anger and frustration. I need to let it out somewhere since I literally have no where/no one else to spill to.

Add on: How could I forget to mention my cryfest during all this? I was getting so frustrated that I jsut broke down and had to go downstairs and call my mom cuz I was so frustrated and fed up with them.

Welcome back...

Oops for not writing for so long!

I don't know why, but I stopped doing my weekly documentary viewing and reflection. I really enjoyed the films I was watching, but for some reason or another, stopped. Maybe I'll find the time to start up again.

The semester is over! I don't know what words I can used to describe my feelings. I'm not relieved, because I wasn't overwhelmed with work. I'm actually a little bit upset to have this semester over because I am not looking forward to some of the classes I have to take next semester. First off, I am taking 6 classes instead of the usual 5 classes. Second, I am taking the 2nd sections of 2D design, 3D design and drawing. Not really looking forward to those classes because they sometimes make me so frustrated. After doing so much design on the computer, where mistakes are easily erased, it is frustrating to do work by hand, and then have to go through a lot more to fix an error, which sometimes doesn't even work. Also, there is just no where in my house to do such work! I need a studio space. I've been working in the basement on a fold up card table and sitting in a plush computer chair, which is not really ideal. I don't mean to be complaining, but that's the case.

Good news though is that it's Christmas Eve! Tomorrow I am expecting some very nice presents, including a brand new Macbook Pro! This current laptop that I am typing on is failing, the mouse gets stuck a lot and it is just a mess. So I am very excited for what tomorrow will bring!

Movies I want to See

I like watching the Oscars every year, but a lot of times I haven't seen all of the movies that are nominated, because I don't watch movies too often. The reason I don't watch movies too often is because of the length and the possibility that I won't enjoy it - therefore having wasted nearly 2 hours watching something that I wish I didn't! But of course there are great, quality movies out there that lately I have trying to seek out, and here is a list of some of the films that I need to make a point of watching.

• Up in the Air
• Invictus
• Precious
• Bright Star
• The Cove
• Every Little Step
• Garbage Dreams
• The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers
• Sergio
• Valentino The Last Emperor
• Which Way Home

Many of these I took from the list of 15 films in the Documentary feature for the Oscars that will be voted on. I watched trailers for each of them and read a bit about them and then picked out which ones I wanted to see. Some I was iffy about so didn't list, such as Food, Inc because I don't want to see animals being slaughtered, even though I eat meat. Also Burma VJ I am not sure of because I don't like watching graphic, violent films, but I am not sure if any of this will be in that movie. Hopefully I will be able to watch all of the above movies and add more to the list as well.

Trouble the Water

Friday has become Documentary Night for me. Last week I watched and reflected on the film Objectified. Tonight I watched a documentary very different from that, Trouble the Water.

The tagline for the movie says it all "It's not about a hurricane. It's about America." The film takes us on a journey of Kimberly Rivers, a 24 year old African American who lived through Hurricane Katrina, and documented it all on her own camcorder. It really is an amazing film. It's upsetting and uplifting at the same time. It makes me angry to see how little the government did during the hurricane as well as after. And I'm angry at myself too, because the way the media portrayed the hurricane was that everything that could possible be done to help was being done, which I see now is so not true. Also, the state of New Orleans before the hurricane came is unacceptable, such poverty and an overall low quality of life. The 911 calls from Kimberly are especially upsetting, as she is told that they are not making rescues at the moment. She asks if she is going to die there, to no response. It's very moving and upsetting, but the faith that these people had is unbelievable. They had so much faith in God and in each other, and Kim and her husband were helping out both strangers and neighbors, doing much more than the government was doing, for so many people. It's just amazing to see people living in such terrible conditions, floating around (literally) trying to find a new home and start their lives fresh, but still being so positive because of their faith. The images of the hurricane and its aftermath did not look like America. In the words of Kim's cousins, it looked like a third world country. Garbage everywhere, people in the streets, on highways, setting up camp and just waiting and praying. It may sound strange, but I am jealous of these people because of the faith I have. I don't have faith. But, and this sounds terrible, but I don't need to have faith. Faith isn't something that should go away when there is no need for it, say when your life is on track, but I can't lie and say that that isn't the case. It is inspiring to see how someone's entire world can be broken and changed, but they aren't tainted.

Appropriately, Trouble the Water was nominated for an Oscar in 2008, for best documentary feature. It did not win, and I would love to see the film that did win, because I really thought that this was great. It did what I think a documentary is supposed to do - it made me angry, it made me feel for the people it was about, and it made me want to do something about it.

Documentaries sometimes get a mad rep for being "boring". I totally disagree with this, but I can see why people might think that - it isn't an action flick where cities explode, or a romantic comedy with unnaturally good looking lead actors. But Trouble the Water is a must see, even for those silly people who find documentaries boring. It is a funny, deeply moving, inspiring film that is told from the inside.

Objectified

Just watched a wonderful documentary called Objectified. It is a design film about the relationship between people and objects, chronicled by the designers. It's from the same man who brought us another great film in Helvetica: Gary Hustwit. I loved Helvetica. I saw it last year, when I was at Quinnipiac, in one of my Interactive Digital Design classes, with my favorite professor, Sara Jordeno. Helvetica really opened my eyes to design and made me fall even more in love with typography. Objectified was equally inspiring, but in a different sense - now I can look at the objects around me a bit more critically.

It is a feature length film, and I am tired at the end of the week, so my memory of specifics may be lacking. I realized about halfway through that maybe I should take some notes down of some great quotes, or of ideas that sprang to mind as I watched. There's something so pure about watching, reading, experiencing something for the first time that you can never get back again - the element of surprise and unknowing is gone. One takeaway I got from the film came from a very eccentric yet brilliant designer by the name of Karim Rashid. Karim brought up a memory he has, of when he was a teenager, in his days of "teenage angst" as he describes. When he would sit in his room, gloomy and sulking, looking at this alarm clock of his, of whose design he was so attracted to, would make his problems go away. I can very much relate to this, and I find myself staring at certain objects of mine for long periods of time (not so long, maybe ten, fifteen minutes most). This mostly happens when I am first waking up, on a weekend, or another day when there is no rush to get up. I am so in love with the way objects hang on my wall in my bedroom. There is such cluttered structure to it that I find so appealing. Perhaps it is not so humble of me to be so infatuated with the look, as it is something I created, but it really is something I love. There are different textures, mediums, sizes, dimensions, colors. It is not even so much what it is that is on the wall, but the way in which it is arranged. I am obsessed with clean and beautiful layouts. Just the other day I had such the urge to paint my room red, but then I realized that that would mean having to first remove my wall decorations, and I feared that no matter how meticulous I was, I would not be able to get the look back.

For someone not interested in design, or in the things that surround them, I think you will still very much enjoy Objectified as it invites you to look at things in a different way. Technically, it is a very well made documentary and is very engaging. I am happy to have stumbled upon it. I set out searching for a good documentary to watch tonight, and I certainly found one.

A very powerful verse came at the closing of the film. Describing what he would do with a billion dollar campaign, Rob Walker of New York Times magazine explains that he would "launch a campaign on things you already own, why not enjoy them today? Because we all have so many things that we already have...they're in the closet, they're in the attic." How interesting is that? It makes me want to just dig into boxes and find the things that have meaning to me. He goes on to say that with the threat of a hurricane, or some other reason that would make it necessary for you to quickly grab your things and evacuate your home, what you grab really defines who you are. Very thought provoking. What I would grab, besides my pets, I really don't know.

Value Menu

1. Everything that begins as comedy ends as tragedy.

2. Everything that begins as comedy ends as tragi-comedy.

3. Everything that begins as comedy inevitably ends as comedy.

4. Everything that begins as comedy ends as a cryptographic exercise.

5. Everything that begins as comedy ends as a horror movie.

6. What begins as comedy ends as a triumphal march, wouldn't you say?

7. Everything that begins as comedy inevitably ends as mystery.

8. Everything that begins as comedy ends as a dirge in the void.

9. Everything that begins as comedy ends as a comic monologue, but we aren't laughing anymore.


The previous lines are taken from The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolano, a novel I am currently reading at the moment. They come at the end of short passages from different narrators in a specific chapter. I find it extremely interesting to explore such options, if one can consider them options, meaning that one believes that he can choose how the comedy ends up.
Perhaps Bolano would be angered at me exacting just these lines, and cutting out everything in between, including the characters who said them. But I am only trying to look at this in the context of life, my own life or that of anothers. On many days, I might believe number 4 to be true, but there are of course the days when 1 or 7 seem plausible, even number 5 in extreme cases.
I felt like writing more but I'm feeling kind of like a number 8 right now. Sounds like I'm ordering off the value menu.

"Everything that begins as comedy does as tragedy."